Non Mainstream, Waxing Poetic

The Thinking Man’s Guide to July 13, 2017

The Thinking Man’s Guide to Today: July 13, 2017

Trending Twitter Topics for You

Great slate of topics coming at you on this beautiful Thursday.

  1. #ThursdayThoughts

Fresh off my recent movie watching experience: Why in the world does Spiderman keep putting his backpacks in locations that would allow them to be stolen? You literally can climb any building in the city, what the hell is your problem dude? And which petty thieves are that dedicated to the cause to pull off all the webbing to try and acquire a backpack covered in web fluid? Is it really that bad in New York City?

  1. #MyAgeInAPhrase

This one is simple. I’m old enough to be excited for the weekend after my day job, but asleep on the couch by 9:30 pm on a Friday night. That’s the kind of old I am.

  1. #ACCKickoff

ACC interview day is upon us, which means that college football is right around the corner. Clemson is the defending National Champs who are losing a lot of talent. Will they be able to reload and repeat? Who will step up to fill the void? Does any of this matter since Alabama is the best team in the nation?

God, I can’t wait until the end of August.

  1. Sammy Sosa

One of the top 5 greatest memories in my life was having tickets to a game between the White Sox and the Cubs shortly after the great Sammy Sosa’s bat exploded revealing copious amounts of cork. The greatest investment of my life was a T-shirt with the Cubs logo that spelled out cork. I don’t really know what Sammy Sosa did to be trending on twitter, but we can’t dismiss the fact because he is probably 3 shades whiter now or something.

  1. Kid Rock

Apparently Kid Rock is contemplating a run for Senate. If he plays “Bawitdaba” on an endless loop while campaigning without saying a word, he’s probably gonna win. This is your fault America. You fucked this up. If I have to combine the words “Senator” and “Kid Rock” in a real life sentence, I’m going to feel like the complete opposite of an “American Bad Ass” “All Summer Long”. “Only God Knows Why”.

  1. Brandon Marshall

Hey Giants fans, enjoy the rollercoaster. Year 1: Great teammate, super productive, positive influence. Year 2: A little dissention, good production, starting to become a more vocal “leader”. Year 3: Literally throwing the Quarterback under the bus every chance he gets. Productive, but more injured. Leaks that there is a problem in the locker room but nobody naming names even though there can only be one obvious answer. Cut. Blames organization for problems, probably gets a new 3 year deal somewhere else.

  1. Jose Quintana

I am so damn conflicted. I always knew Jose Quintana was always going to be traded this season. I knew I was going to love the prospect haul that they got in return. It hurts my soul that the trade happened with the Cubs. I understand that it was going to be difficult to top the return they got (Eloy Jimenez Baseball America’s current Number 5 prospect, Dylan Cease, the current Number 83 prospect, and two lottery tickets in Matt Rose and Bryant Flete). The rebuild continues and the farm continues to get much stronger. My only hope is that if the Cubs do make another World Series, Quintana is pitching in the deciding game and gives up a 7th inning Grand Slam, turns to the camera’s in the South and smiles, fulfilling his mission of making the Cubs never win a World Series again in my lifetime. That would be nice.


Hashtag of the Day: #NationalFrenchFryDay

French Fry Rankings (National Chains):

5. McDonalds

4. Burger King

3. Steak n’ Shake

2. Wendy’s

  1. Five Guys


Don’t agree? @ me.


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